I lost a boy to a city. The desire for it ate away at him, so he didn't appreciate what was around him :the pretty hills and interesting bits were punctuated with rough accents, poor transport links, even poorer manners (his didn't exactly shine) and loneliness. It made him despondent, full of hatred and detached.
All I could do was watch as he drifted into these city dreams - his imagined paradise didn't seem to include me, being , as they were, part nostalgia and part wishful thinking. When the opportunity called, he left his small northern town, fled to bright lights, busy streets, sandwiches at 2am, boats, towers and culture. I was stuck in another even smaller, even more remote small town and couldn't follow right then, but by that time it didn't matter -he realised he didn't want me to.
I'm listening to Emmy the Great, City Song, which always reminds me of that fool of a boy. He isn't entirely happy now, which makes the whole thing tragic. I'd fix it if I knew how, but as the second rule of life dictates -
-
You can't fix people, don't even try.
And to finish this rather wistful post, the end of my time in Aber is almost up. When I arrived I was a rather blissful soul in my mid twenties, now I'm creaking to the end of them, all jagged and cranky. Am I sad to go? No! What's wrong with you? This place reeks of chips (please remember, it's my new year's resolution to spread this fact) and is utterly bereft of any forms of civilisation apart from competitive inbreeding, there's nothing to do but look at the bloody hills, a foul train service or a bus to the capital that takes four bloody hours, and the dreadful accent....
Okay, I'm slightly choked up. I'll miss the nights on the beach, some of the people that have made it so memorable, and the feeling of welcome return after fleeing in the wake of cabin fever - walking up Fford y Mor, turning the corner and being home and ready for bed. Of course the big wide world beckons, so it's not all bad.
Used without permission, but from the very excellent flicker stream of 'Jim Blob Bann'
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